Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day 13

Well, I made it to day 7 without my wheelchair, but it's a bittersweet day.  I will have to bring the chair back in and use it, at the very least, during the night for bathroom trips.  My whole leg is sore from my bad fall, and the subsequent falls afterward, but the knee is the worst.  I had to put my shoes on each time I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and I got up three times.  By this morning, my knee was swollen, and when I tried to stand up the pain was intense and my leg buckled and I fell to the floor once more.  I'm not happy about it, but for safety reasons I have to bring the chair back inside.

I am very happy I made it an entire week without my wheelchair, and I was even able to maintain a somewhat normal daily life.  I was afraid the chores would pile up, or my daughter would be overwhelmed with helping me, but neither of those were true.  I was able to keep up with the dishes, do the laundry, shower, and take care of the basic needs.  I did call on my daughter now and then when I was just too exhausted and needed something, but all in all I asked her for very little.  I did that on purpose.  The whole idea of ditching the chair was not so that I could get lazy and have everyone else do for me, it was so that I had to do for myself.  And I did.

If it wasn't for the fall I took, I would still be without the chair, and I don't think would ever need it back again.  I kept it for emergencies, and this is an emergency situation.  Today I will have to be extra careful, only walking to the bathroom and back.  I was able to let the dog out and make some coffee, but it took a lot out of me and walking right now is just too dangerous.  If I fall and break something I'd be really screwed, so I have to give in to the fact that I need to rest and let the knee heal AGAIN.  Good thing I grabbed myself a banana and my daughter has a half-day today.

Sitting on my walker waiting for the dog to finish her business this morning, I started to cry because I am so disappointed at this setback.   No sooner did I start to cry, I wiped the tears away and reminded myself of how much progress I have truly made.  Before the injury of course, I was able to do a lot more then I have ever been able to do since my illness.  There was a time when if I sat on my walker, it was all I could do just to get turned around with the walker in front of me again.  Now, it's a motion I do without even thinking about it.  It's the little things like that that keep me pushing forward, and will also allow me to rest without getting too frustrated.

I can also take comfort in the fact that it is only Day 13 of my 100,000 steps in 365 days challenge and I have already walked over 6,000 steps.  That's an average of just under 470 steps per day!  Yay me!

Update 12:26 P.M.

After taking some ibuprofen and then sitting for a couple of hours, I stood up to go to the bathroom and although the knee was at first very sore, it loosened up nicely and didn't hurt as badly as this morning.  This is great news because now I can use the chair to rest for a solid day, and then with some ibuprofen and great care, I can go back to walking during the day until I am strong enough once again to get rid of the chair.  I will be using the chair at night for a while just until I am secure in the fact that I no longer need it.

Step count today:  200
Left to go:  93,809

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