Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Apologies: What They Mean To Me

The going trend lately seems to be 'let me do something horrific to you and I'll just apologize later'.  It happens time and time again, but what do the words "I'm sorry" really mean?  Bupkis! I'm a firm believer in not doing the thing you have to apologize for, and if you do, a simple formation of words coming out of your mouth isn't going to undo the thing you did.  It's like people who say "I Love You" 700 times a day, it kind of loses its meaning.  Same thing goes for apologies, they are not a magic eraser that can just undo your wrongs.  It seems as though these people think to themselves, "I know what I'm doing is wrong, but it's OK, I can always apologize later".  And what is with "public" apologies?  Like the fact that now the whole world knows what a POS you are makes the apology any more meaningful.  If Osama Bin Laden "publicly" apologized for killing thousands of our American people, would we just pat him on the back and say "it's OK honey, we know you didn't mean it"?  I think not.

I am sure there are plenty of people out there who have made an honest mistake, and who genuinely feel sorry.  I do believe apologies are necessary in situations such as these.  However, let's just say for example the case of Tiger Woods (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth).  Here's a man whose whole image is based on the "nice guy act".  Then one day, BAM, turns out he is who I thought he was;  a lying, cheating, fame whore who uses his power to get laid by several different women at once, all the while married with children.  But, here he is publicly apologizing and we are just supposed to forgive him?  Why?  Because he plays really good golf?  So what?  He's good at an elitist sport that's ridiculously boring anyway, big whoop.  What about the fact that he has a wife and children and is supposed to honor them, not make their lives a living hell?  He's famous, what did he think was going to happen?  Oh, but that public apology is really going to erase the media storm and all the DOCUMENTED bad shit that he did that will forever and ever be available to his kids to go read when they get older.  Nice.  What is it with men and not being able to be happy with what they've got?  (No need to answer - that's a rhetorical question)  If he wanted to be a man whore he should have stayed single.

Then you have the least famous, but more important people, like teachers.  Recently there was a big stink at the middle school about a kid wearing a Breast Cancer Awareness bracelet that reads I (heart) Boobies.  The problem I'm having isn't the fact that he can't wear it at school because it violates dress code, the problem is how it was handled.  This kid was treated like a criminal for supporting his family and friends who are going through a horrific ordeal.  But, when called out, the teacher "apologized".  Big frickin' deal, she apologized.  Oh wow, so that's going to undo the damage you've done to this kids self-esteem because you uttered the phrase "I'm sorry".  Give me a break.  Treat the kids with respect in the first place, then there is nothing to apologize for.  Handle the situation with patience and understanding right off the bat and you won't have to pretend to be sorry for anything.  Be right, then you're not wrong.

We all do stupid things.  Believe me, I'm queen of doing dumb things, falling prey to the wrong influences, and just generally being an idiot, but there comes a time when one must stop and wonder what it is they are doing to themselves and the people around them.  Especially when kids are involved.  Grow up people, and if you can't grow up, then at least have the decency not to go through life thinking that "I'm sorry" is going to fix everything.

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