Monday, March 1, 2010

Day 60

March 1st, Day 60 of 2010. 

Sixty days is really not that much time, but when you're trying to accomplish goals it can be.  In reality, sixty days goes by in a blink - hell, less than a blink, more like just the idea of a blink. This past sixty days has been very up and down for me both with my weight-loss and my walking.  I think I have finally found a groove that I can stay in.  The numbers on the scale keep going down and that makes me extremely happy, and I am noticing I'm getting stronger and that of course makes me elated.  I keep reminding myself of the things that used to be so difficult for me, and when I stand up to do some walking I am amazed at the difference.  I really and truly am getting stronger.  Like, for realsies (as my daughter would say). 

I've gotten discouraged here and there, especially after taking a couple of nasty falls that set me back a bit.  But, even with those set backs, I am getting stronger.  That's really saying something.  Now that my knee is about 85% healed, and my ankle about 90%, I am getting a lot more steps in each day and really making progress once again.  The crawling I have added is really adding strength to my core, so much so that I was able to sit straight up from lying flat the other day, something I haven't been able to do since 1997 before I got sick!  That was a major development in my road to recovery.

I'm also starting to venture out on my own much more.  I spent years being somewhat of a recluse; not going anywhere unless someone was with me.  Now that I'm getting some physical strength back, I am regaining my emotional strength as well and am much more confident in doing things by myself.  I feel like a five year-old venturing off to kindergarten on her own once again.  I suppose that is all part of the process as well, like when I had to learn how to write all over again, or brush my own hair.  I guess when something brings you back to nothing, that's where you must start. 

I am already noticing a difference in how much easier it is to move around with just nine pounds gone.  It's really just common sense; excess weight is going to make everything harder.  I can only imagine how I'll be bouncing off the walls forty more pounds from now. 

So, it has been a roller coaster these past sixty days, but also quite revealing.  I've learned that after a fall I need to just get back up and start over.  I've learned a diet that will allow me proper nutrition while still losing weight, and I've learned that hard work really does pay off.

I catch myself fantasizing about running.  I haven't allowed myself that fantasy in a very long time.  I can see myself going for a morning run, or a morning bike ride, and I know in my heart and soul it's going to happen.

Step count today:  419

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