I'm officially nervous and I think my stomach has turned itself inside out. Two days and 22+ hours from now I will be on a plane headed to Minnesota; chair-less.
The palms of my hands are beginning to chafe, and I'm hoping this will callous up in a day or two. If not, I may have to bring out my ugly gloves. Without my hands I don't have much left to get me around.
I can remember when I could have thrown a few clothes into a duffel bag and flown off to wherever I wanted, no planning necessary. Those days are long gone.
This expedition I am taking, I am comparing to what it must feel like when someone prepares to climb Mt. Everest. I might not be climbing 29,035 ft., but it's probably going to feel like it just with more oxygen.
I'm facing two weeks of doing everything differently. I will no longer have the security of "oh I'll just take my chair". Long distances are going to give me a pit in my stomach and a bead of sweat on my brow. Every time I step out of my car at a rest area I'm going to be mentally sizing up how far I will have to walk before I can use the bathroom. Every hotel is going to be a challenge if they can't get me a room close enough to where I park. Everything I do from the moment I leave that chair behind is going to be nothing less than hard work.
Imagine facing Everest for the first time... Exactly.
Can I do this? Will my arms and my hands hold out for that amount of walking? My arms are very strong, but in different ways than using a walker. My arms are used to pushing a chair forward, not pushing down on a walker repeatedly. Will I have to walk somewhere far and not be able to make it due to fatigue in my arms and legs? Or more appropriately, fatigue in my entire body.
I'm about to find out.
These are just a few of the questions that have been swarming my brain the past few days. The closer it gets to "go" time, the more questions arise. Scenarios just present themselves in my head and the anxiety inevitably follows. It's like a form of torture.
I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm confident. I'm determined. I'm ready.
One step at a time.
Only time will tell how capable I am of pulling off such a monumental feat. I know in my heart of hearts I can do this, and I will do this, but it's going to take every last drop of stubborn energy I have -- and then some.