Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I get so caught up in my recovery, that I forget how important it is to rest. It's a key element in the balance of our bodies, like proper diet and sleep. Although I am the kind of person who likes to push herself to the limit, I must also stop and take the time to rest and let my body repair and heal.
I have mentioned before that I am not good at sitting still. This part of me has only been amplified since I've been walking more and more. I sit for a period and then think I need to get up and do something -- just because I can. So I do, and then after a few days of overdoing things, I pay dearly. Only then do I stop and make myself rest. I really need to rethink my strategy and perhaps treat walking like I would a workout. Work hard one day, rest the next. It certainly makes more sense, but for me is hard to do.
Since today is Wednesday, and the first day of my tenth week of walking, I figure I will work hard since I am rested and feeling good. That will make Monday, Wednesday and Friday my hard working days, with Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday as my easier days.
I had an idea last night for a way to get more walking in without really having to think so much. I thought; why not set something up where I have to carry something from one place to another? The back and forth, back and forth will give me exercise, but I will be doing something at the same time so it won't seem like a waste of time or like I'm going to die of boredom. Since I am moving next year, I will have to start cleansing my things and getting rid of old stuff, etc, so I will put a box by the back door, and I will take things one by one to that box that will eventually go to Goodwill or Freecycle. Considering how much crap I have laying around I should get some really great exercise out of this!
Once I am done with that I will just have to keep coming up with new and more difficult things to do.
Nine weeks in and I am really starting to see and feel the changes! My right leg is getting much stronger, and it's only a matter of time before my left follows.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
He, too, spent six months in the hospital. He has been home for two months, and can now walk 60 steps with a walker! Go Bob!
It is so very discouraging at times when you come home from the hospital and you just want everything back to normal. I remember vividly. It takes a long time, and the body must heal at its own pace, but that doesn't stop it from being one of the hardest, and most frustrating things a person will ever experience. Even the strongest of minds will crack under the heavy weight of climbing that huge mountain.
It's such a long and arduous fight that it makes you want to give up, but take it from me, NEVER give up! There is a light at the end of that tunnel, I promise you! If your legs are moving, and you're walking those 60 steps, keep pushing yourself to go farther! It WILL happen for you! And when it starts to hurt, just remember that pain is good! Pain means you can feel! It means the nerves are working, and if the nerves are working you can do anything!
Keep up the fight, Bob! I am here for you.
If you would like to see Bob's struggle, you can watch his video here: http://www.vimeo.com/15179672
Monday, September 27, 2010
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Even as I sit here writing this, I want to get up and go do something. I am fidgeting and fretting that I am forced to sit here.
Hopefully work will keep me busy enough today that I won't go crazy.
Step count today: 479
Saturday, September 25, 2010
My dad has been visiting and it has been great. It's nice to take the time to slow down and grill and have a nice fire and relax. Too bad he has to leave tomorrow, but the time spent has been wonderful.
I have been keeping track of my steps on the ticker, and I just can't believe how close I am to hitting the 100k mark!! And so early! Woo Hoo!
Step count today: 865
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It will be eight weeks tomorrow that I have been without my wheels, and I can hardly believe how far I've come in such a short span of time. Eight weeks seems like a lot to some, but for me eight weeks is a blink. Considering I spent twelve years in that stupid chair, eight weeks is nothing.
I still have to stop and think about all the changes I am going through just to make sure I am improving. I know that I am, but with such a long journey one can forget how hard things used to be versus how they are now. The biggest change I have noticed is my thought processes. I don't think so much about things, I just do them. It used to be that I would think about doing a task, then I would think about the steps I would need to take to do it and how hard it would be, and I would subsequently talk myself out of it -- confident I would be too inadequate physically. Now I just start something without thinking, and maybe realize halfway through I might have gotten myself in over my head. By that point who cares! The fact that I'm doing things on a more normal level mentally is just another huge step in the healing. Yay!
I am still planning and working hard toward my move to Minnesota next summer. I am shooting for July 1, 2011. That seems so far away, but really it isn't, especially considering what a huge job - and expsense - moving cross-country will be. I just hope I am ready and all goes smoothly.
Step count today: 822
Steps I'm ahead: 18,245
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
The good news is I'm doing these things without constantly thinking about how difficult it will be, and that's a huge change. It's only after I begin that I realize I'm getting a little fatigued and might need to sit for a minute. I used to think "I should wash the car", and then immediately would think "man that would be a lot of pain and work". Yesterday I just started doing it, then thought "wow, my legs kinda hurt maybe I should sit for a minute". I'm loving this change in me after only seven weeks.
Step count today: 757
Steps I'm ahead: 16,488
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
As much as I try not to think about it, sometimes time drags on and I can't help but wish I was completely better and it was all over. I know that day will come, and I know I have to just be patient and keep working hard, but a part of me just can't help but wish it was here now. I wish I could get rid of the outside wheelchair, and have the strength to walk through a grocery store. I wish I could walk even a little bit faster. I wish the first few steps after sitting for a while weren't excruciating. All these things I wish for, and I should just be happy at where I am and how far I've come.
I suppose all these wants and wishes will just keep me working hard, so perhaps they are good. I know they are normal, I am only human.
Step count today: 762
Steps I'm ahead: 15,295
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
I am just a home-grown country girl who misses her roots more and more the older she gets. It's time to go back.
Step count today: 898
Steps I'm ahead: 14,428
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I am still in shock that after only a little over six weeks I have come as far as I have. I still have a very long way to go, but the fact that I'm gaining muscle, feeling, flexibility, and strength has me overjoyed. This means the nerves still work, and although I might have a few leftover side effects, I should be able to walk unassisted without many problems!
Step count today: 556
Steps I'm ahead: 13,804
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I must say that after six weeks I have definitely improved a lot. My endurance alone has improved drastically. I can walk much farther, and stand much longer, before I get fatigued and need a rest.
It still just doesn't even seem real.
I have also gone from being as much as 8,000 steps behind my goal, to over 11,000 over, with less than 20,000 steps to go before reaching my goal early!
Determination. If only you could bottle it and sell it.
Step count today: 1036
Steps I'm ahead: 12,268
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Step count today: 738
Steps I'm ahead: 11,506
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Nope, not gonna make my smile disappear, sorry!
Step count today: 702
Steps I'm ahead: 11,042
Monday, September 6, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
That trail will be my measure of progress from here on. I know how far I was able to walk before sitting, and how far I was able to go before heading back to the car. Let's hope each time I go I can push it a little further.
Every morning when I wake up, I have to sit on the edge of my bed and prepare myself for the day to come. My legs need a few minutes to wake up, and then I am ready to start the day. I dread that first moment when I have to stand up, it's one of the hardest times of my day. Today, however, I stood up so easily that I instantly got teary-eyed and couldn't believe the progress in that area in such a short period of time.
My bed sits on the floor, I do not have a frame under it, so it is quite low to the ground which makes it a lot harder to get out. I did this on purpose, initially because it was easier to transfer from my wheelchair to the bed at that height, but now I leave it that way to make things harder for myself. Each and every time I stand up out of that bed, my legs really have to work. It's certainly paying off!
My daughter told her friend yesterday, "my mommy doesn't need to use her wheelchair anymore!" Whatever pain and suffering I have to go through is all worth it just to know my daughter is proud of me.
Step count today: 1,473
Steps I'm ahead: 9,595
Friday, September 3, 2010
And I must say, happy looks damn good on me!
Step count today: 791
Steps I'm ahead: 8,396
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Step count today: 826
Steps I'm ahead: 7,879
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I can really feel a difference in my legs with each step I take. It still hasn't quite sunk in that I might someday be walking somewhat normal again, but I think that's just the pessimist in me not wanting to count her chickens before they hatch.
I am getting stronger. It's almost unbelievable that I am able to say those words. I still have my days when it seems like it's taking so long, and there is so much pain, that I have to remind myself how far I've come. Then there are days like today when I'm an emotional wreck because I just can't believe how much I am progressing in such a short period of time. I can't believe it took me this long to try, and now I am getting better. I just can't believe it.
Step count today: 936
Steps I'm ahead: 7,327