I miss the young, healthy, strong body I once had. The one that could do just about anything. I could move an entire home full of furniture by myself. Carry king sized beds, TV's, stereos, etc. I was strong and fit and able.
I miss being tall and statuesque. Towering over just about everyone and the looks I received because of this. My overly strong legs that seemed invincible. I could do anything I wanted. Life was my oyster.
That was stolen from me by this rare, strange, and unexplained illness which continues to rob me of life's small freedoms. Driving, using the bathroom, sleeping, all of it. It has taken my abilities and continues to chip away at whatever I have left. It has yet to break my spirit, but that, too, is being chipped away with every night of missed sleep and every painful transfer to the passenger side of my own car that I haven't driven in months. Just another of one of my favorite freedoms I've lost.
I just want my strong body back. I want to hike and swim in the ocean. Climb stairs, run through puddles, and play in the snow. I want to go sledding and skiing, ride a snow mobile and shovel the sidewalks. I want to do everything that most people are tired of doing. All the things that people take for granted because they've never had the ability to do them ripped away in just a few days.
I want my body back. This one is painful and broken and alien to me.