Sunday, February 7, 2016

Needing Help

I've always been such a strong woman.  Even after the illness hit me.  Just because I am broken physically, doesn't mean it could break my spirit or change who I am inside.  However, I am not stupid.  I know when it's time to ask for help, and now is that time.  I have an amazing opportunity to visit one of the best hospitals in the world, with a chance that they can actually find out what's really wrong with me, and maybe even find a way to get me up and out of this chair again.  With that on my mind, I'm willing to do just about anything to make sure that happens.  Since I am physically unable to work or generate income right now, I am forced to ask for help.  This pains me a great deal, but, I try to remind myself of all the people throughout the years that I have helped, even when I had nothing.  Not that I ever did those things with any kind of expectation of anything in return, but I definitely took it into consideration when I created my Go Fund Me page and started feeling bad about needing help.

I've always been stubborn and that kid who said "I can do it myself!"  So, it's very difficult for me to not be able to do it myself.  I jump at the chance to help others who are in genuine need of help because I know exactly what it feels like to be that person.  I've never looked down on them or thought they were bad people for asking, so why should I feel bad for asking for a little help, too?  I shouldn't, and I'm trying very hard not to.

Luckily gas prices have gone down considerably and I drive a very economical car, but there are still going to be food and hotel expenses that will go along with the trips to Mayo Clinic, and I have no idea how many trips I will need to make, but considering it's been almost 20 years and dozens of doctors and none have been able to figure out with any certainty what's going on with me; I'm guessing Mayo is going to have a little trouble, too.  Each visit to Mayo is going to cost at least between $2-300, and that's if the trip is only for one day and one night.  I just don't have that kind of money laying around.

I raised my daughter by myself her whole life, and now she has her own son, and is doing well for herself. I still do whatever I can to help her, and that is why I babysit my grandson for her when she goes to work so she doesn't have to bring him to day care.  She can't afford it, for one thing, and I just don't think he should go to strangers when he can come and be with his grandmother who loves him.  Plus, he keeps me going and helps me forget about my ills for a while.  I would love to be able to continue to take care of him for a long time to come.

So, if anyone can give anything, I can't express enough how grateful I will be for every little bit of help sent my way -- even if it is in the form of sharing my Go Fund Me link on your Facebook or Twitter:

In return, I promise to keep you all updated with pictures and videos and entries along the way about all the trips and appointments and progress we make. I'm doing whatever I can to keep my head above water and not slip into depression while also keeping a positive outlook that they will be able to help me.  Even if they can just help relieve the pain and get my legs to straighten again I will be forever happy.  Ultimately, I would love to be able to stand and walk again, and ideally get stronger and be able to walk unassisted again!  How amazing that would be after almost 20 years to be able to hold my grandson on my hip and run through the rain puddles with him or take him sledding in the snow or swimming in the lake!  I keep that hope alive, and will never give up.

Thank you, in advance!

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