Sunday, February 7, 2016

Original Post: 7-21-10 (Day 201 - New Spasms, New Pains)

Another post I found in my archives that I wanted to re-share.  2010 was the year I began trying very hard to get my legs stronger and began using my walker and pushing myself to walk more and more every day.  I documented my step count each day in my blog, and also updated with posts like the one below telling of new changes I was feeling.  Funny that I am still having the pain and spasms in the hips, but it's so much worse and I'm unable to stand or walk.  Back then, although I was having the contracting spasms, once they were over my legs would just go back to being limp and numb.  Now, I still get the very painful contracting spasms, but my legs no longer return to being limp and numb.  It's as if they are in a permanent contraction of some kind, and they are sensitive to touch which they never were before.

I'm trying to piece all of this together in my mind, and put it all down in my blog as well so that I have a record.  My memory isn't the greatest because of all the medications I have to take, and I want this all available to show to Mayo.

I do remember how great it felt to be up and moving around again, though, and I miss that so much! It's a struggle every single day not to fall into a pit of depression because of this again.

(originally posted July 21, 2010):

"All of this walking is certainly doing something.  I can tell by the new, and quite powerful spasms, and the new pains.  My left leg can spasm so strong and painful that it feels as if my leg will rip right off my body at the hip.  This has caused a new constant pain to form in that very same hip.  My legs in general are hurting more than ever, but in a good way.  It feels like they are sore.  The kind of sore you feel after a really long bike ride, or a muscle-ripping workout at the gym.  In other words:  it's all good!

For a while I still had some doubts as to whether or not I really would see any significant progress in my strength and ability, but those doubts are starting to fade.  The more new pain I feel, the more I realize walking is that much closer to a reality.  Standing up from a seated position has gotten easier, my endurance has increased, I can stand for longer periods, and walking is becoming second nature once again.  I catch myself reaching for my walker even when I've decided to rest and use the chair.  That development is the best yet.  I not only have to change my way of getting around, but my way of thinking as well.

I am getting really excited for my trip in six days.  I'm still a little bit nervous, but I'm more excited and looking forward to it than ever.  I know it will be hard work, and I don't care.  I'm so happy I am able to do something that just six months ago was just a dream."

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